Conspiracy Theory
by YamiMisao
Summary: An easedropping student spying on the yami’s and hikari’s,discovers that three of Domino High’s ‘students’ are ancient Spirit's. What’s worse, they got the entire thing on tape and turn it in as their ‘project‘. So now the yami’s are on the run! YYxYBxYM
1. The Video

**Pairings:** Eventually Yami x Bakura x Marik (Yamishipping), and Malik x Yuugi x Ryou (Hikarishipping)

**Summary: **As their luck would have it, an ease-dropping student spying on the yami's and hikari's talking, discover that three of Domino High's 'students' aren't human, and are 3000 year old spirits of a Pharaoh, Tomb Robber and Tomb Keeper. What's worse, they got the entire thing on tape and turn it in as their 'project'. So naturally a teacher finds out, who alerts the government. So now the yami's are on the run! From who? The cops, the government, just about everyone.

**Disclaimer: **Well since it's says "Disclaimer" I obviously don't claim to own it.

**Warnings: **We're talking violence, strong language, adult content...and Random Insanity

**Conspiracy Theory **

A random student who shall remain un-named sighed as he walked down the halls of Domino High. Said student had just gotten bitched at by his teacher because he hadn't turned in his project. He was doing a report on paranormal things, like spirits or ghosts, and he was suppose to make a video supporting his 'views and beliefs' as the teacher had put it.

Now how was he suppose to make a video on the paranormal? Could spirits even be caught on film? Sure, people had claimed to see ghosts in pictures, but what were HIS chances of finding something?

As he made his way around to the back of the school, deciding to skip his next class, he froze. He heard voices, and not just any voices. One he distinctly knew to be Bakura, and the other Marik. They were the two most feared people in school. Sometimes he even wondered if they were human, it was rumored that some people disappeared mysteriously after pissing one of them off.

As he made his way closer, he heard a softer voice. Glancing around the corner of the building, he saw 6 people. He knew who all of them were, because they were all in his next class, which he was skipping. Ryou, Bakura, Malik, Marik, Yuugi and Yami. In his opinion they were all pretty freaky.

He grinned as he got an idea. He could probably get some nice blackmail right now! So he quietly turned his video camera on, and carefully pointed it in their direction, hoping this wouldn't be a waste of film.

When all 6 of them left, the Random Student grinned and hugged his camera. He had the perfect footage for his project!

**Next Day; Last Class:**

Somehow Marik and Bakura's desks ended up pushed together, and Marik's hand had found it's way down Bakura's pants. Yami, though he would never admit it, was quite aroused by the muffled sounds Bakura was making, muffled because Marik's hand was over his mouth. And since his desk was right next to theirs, he could hear them rather clearly.

"Alright class, since some of our student can't seem to turn things in on time, the last project will be presented today." The teacher announced, and the Random Student made his way to the front of the class.

"I did my project on the Paranormal; like spirits and stuff..." And for the next half an hour the students proceeded to fall asleep as he read his report. It wasn't until the lights turned out, and the TV was turned on did he have the classes attention.

"This video is proof that spirits really do exist!" He announced, which quickly got Ryou, Bakura, Malik, Marik Yuugi and Yami's attention, because the yami's we're spirits themselves, and the hikari's lived with said spirit's.

The movie started and Ryou, Bakura, Malik, Marik Yuugi and Yami all gasped. It was THEM! Just yesterday! Bakura, Marik and Yami jumped up and started running to the TV, yelling and screaming.

"Yami, Bakura, Marik! Sit down this instant!" The teacher yelled.

"You can't see this tape!" Marik screeched.

"Why not?"

"Because! We're on it!"

"So?"

"He taped us without our consent, Mrs." Yami said, trying to calm down.

"Is that true?" The teacher looked over at the Random Student, who nodded meekly, "Well, there's nothing we can do about it now... so sit down or go to the office!"

"But!-" They all started.

"NOW!" The teacher screeched, and they silently sat back down, glancing at their hikari's, who were frozen where they sat.

Everyone's attention turned back to the movie.

In the video, Bakura narrowed his eyes at his Ryou, "Hikari, are you some sort of masochist? Did you _like_ getting the shit beaten out of you every day of your life?"

Ryou sighed, "Yami, you know that's not what I mean! I'm just saying you didn't have to send them to the Shadow Realm! You could have just beat them up or something!"

Bakura rolled his eyes, "Fine, I'll go drag their carcasses out of the Shadow Realm later... probably already dead though..." He mumbled.

Ryou narrowed his eyes, "No, you will get them out of the Shadow Realm now, please." Ryou then proceeded to use his most lethal weapon, the puppy dog eyes.

Bakura stared at his hikari for a whole 5 seconds, before he caved, "Fine hikari. You know I spoil you." That earned him a few snickers from the others, before the Millennium Ring glowed and he vanished.

All the students, and even the teacher, gasped, and Bakura sunk lower in his seat, wishing to be anywhere but where he was now.

Back to the video, Marik was sitting on the ground, twirling the Millennium Rod in his hand, "You know Ryou, you really should have let him get them out later, he's going to be a bitch for the rest of the day now. Getting in and out of the Shadow Realm isn't exactly a walk through the park..."

"Well it's the Tomb Robber's fault for sending them there in the first place." Yami mumbled.

Marik glared, "Shut it Pharaoh."

Yami glowered at him, "Exactly, I am Pharaoh, Tomb Keeper, learn your place."

It was Malik's turn to make a comment, "You mean back in your dirty ass Tomb?"

Yami was about to reply to that, but Marik said, a bit louder then necessary, "Hey Yuugi, don't you ever get tired of being the Pharaoh's pet? You could come join Me, Bakura and Malik in all our rebelling glory!"

"He's not my pet! He's the other half of my soul!" Yami snapped.

"Could've fooled me," Marik smirked, and grabbed Yuugi's arm, pulling him into his lap, "Something as cute as this couldn't possibly be part of your soul Pharaoh..."

Malik glared at his yami and pulled Yuugi away from him, and into his own lap, "Hand's off, he's ours..." Malik growled, pulling Ryou into the other side of his lap, "Go screw Bakura, or better yet, have a threesome with him and the Pharaoh."

Marik grinned, "That doesn't sound like a bad idea..."

Yami's eyes widened, "WHAT?"

"I was talking about the screwing Bakura part..." Marik said, "I'm mean, come on, he's evil, I'm evil, I'm a sadist and a masochist, he's a sadist and a masochist...Perfect match!.. Ra, I'd love to get him in bed...",Marik continued going on about his fantasies and failed to notice that Bakura had returned, dumping the unconscious bodies to the side, and also ignored Yami's comment about how a Tomb Robber and a Tomb Keeper couldn't possibly be a perfect match.

Bakura glanced over at Marik, who was glaring daggers at the TV, "Perfect match huh?" He said in an amused tone, despite their situation.

Marik smirked, "Oh you know it.."

On the video, Bakura raised an eyebrow, "What's he talking about?"

"You." Malik, Ryou, Yuugi and Yami all said at the same time.

Bakura's eyes widened as he listened more closely to what Marik was saying, "-he'd look even better with blood covering that deliciously pale skin of his, writhing underneath me..."

Some of the students where whispering things by that point.

Video; "Marik! I didn't know you still felt that way!" He smirked when Marik stopped and his eyes grew twice their normal size. But he quickly regained composure and smirked up at Bakura.

"Oh you don't know hat half of it. Care to find out?" Marik licked his lips at Bakura, who plopped down in his lap.

"Ohh... remember that time we had wild hot sex in the Pharaoh's bed chambers?"

They thought they heard the teacher gag after that comment.

Video; Yami's gasped, "You two freaks had sex on MY bed? Have you NO respect at ALL?"

They both gave him a look that answered his question, but Marik had to comment anyways, "Oh please, you were a lousy pharaoh... I think Priest Set would have made a better one..."

"Oh!" Bakura suddenly said, "Remember the time in the Palace dungeons? When you came to break me out? Oh that was great..."

Marik smirked at the memory, "Oh yeah, you were chained to the wall, still covered in blood from being whipped... such a naughty boy you were... though the guards didn't punish you enough..."

"You took care of that though..." Bakura whispered, wrapping his arms around Marik neck and pulling him into a painfully forceful kiss.

"Ra, you two are sick..."Yami muttered.

"Actually, I wouldn't mind seeing that..." Both Yuugi and Malik said at the same time, while Yami and Ryou gave them both horrified looks.

"You gotta admit Yami, that's pretty hot.." Yuugi mumbled, Yami starred, "Ok, I'll shut up now..." He sighed.

"My hikari...has been corrupted... It's all your hikari's fault Marik!" Yami growled.

Marik pulled away from Bakura and raised an eyebrow at Yami, "Why my hikari's fault? Why not Bakura's?"

Yami sighed exasperatingly and pointed at Ryou, "He's too innocent to corrupt anyone!" They all turned to Ryou, who had this sickeningly cute confused look on his face.

"Your right." They all, minus Yami and Ryou, said.

"I'm bored..." Bakura muttered, then noticed a squirrel watching them. He growled, "It's that fucking squirrel again!" Bakura yelled, pulling out a card from his pocket and his ring started to glow, "Man Eater Bug!" Said monster appeared, "I know it's not a man, but eat it anyways dammit!" Said monster ate the squirrel, then disappeared, "Ha! I showed that furry little bitch!"

There was a collection of gasps as the student and the teacher saw the man-eater bug appear and devour the squirrel.

Video; "The squirrel did nothing to you Bakura, that was very immature." Yami reprimanded.

Bakura snorted, "Like I care. And for your information, Oh Great Son of Ra, It was _looking _at me."

"I don't see why...not much to look _at_." Yami retorted. All three yami's, like the respectable and mature yami's they are, started growling at each other, and the ring, rod and puzzle started to glow.

Each of the hikari's started to try and calm their respective yami. All of which ignored their respective hikari's, but before things could get too out of hand, the yami's disappeared in a flash, each being pulled into their item by their hikari to avoid the impending shadow game.

Ryou sighed, "Why us?"

"Destiny. And life, life's a bitch, cause if it were a slut, It'd be easy." Malik said.

"I guess that's what happens when you have the 3000 year old spirits of a Pharaoh, Tomb Robber and Tomb Keeper as the other halves of you soul." Yuugi mumbled.

"Oh My! It seems we've missed the rest of school.." Ryou commented as the bell that signaling school was out rung, and Yuugi and Malik shrugged.

And then the screen went blank. There was a long moment of silence before everyone turned to stare wide-eyed at the three Yami's. Said yami's only had two word's to say.

Oh. Shit.


	2. Busted

**Misao:** That you everyone who reviewed! I'm glad you all like this story...o.O I felt like being random, and this story is going to have a lot of randomness in it... but you'll all find that out soon enough!

**  
Pairings:** Eventually Yami x Bakura x Marik (Yamishipping), and Malik x Yuugi x Ryou (Hikarishipping)

**Disclaimer: **Well since it's says "Disclaimer" I obviously don't claim to own it. I also don't own a few of the quotes towards the end...

**Warnings: **We're talking violence, strong language, adult content...and Random Insanity

* * *

**Conspiracy Theory **

**Chapter 2**

After about 5 minutes of dead silence, Yami broke it with a nervous laugh, "H-Hey, those we're some _kick ass_ special effects!" Marik and Bakura gave him an odd look, but a sharp kick from Yami to their legs stopped them from doing anything stupid.

"Yeah!" Bakura agreed, "Nice special effects man."

"It even had me fooled!" Malik shouted from the other end of the room.. He blinked, "Which doesn't take much... but that's besides the point!"

The teacher looked skeptical, of course, who wouldn't? Their conversation _alone_ was odd enough! The Random Student glared at them, "I did _not _use any special effects! You three are spirits and you know it! I saw you, "He pointed to Bakura, "Disappear with my own eyes! And you sent that monster after that squirrel! And those things you're wearing we're glowing to!"

Marik smirked and sat back, arms behind his head, glancing over at Bakura "And people say _we're _the ones who need to be locked in a psycho ward..."

The Random Student sighed and looked over to the teacher, "You believe me don't you? You spent 3 hours yesterday teaching me how to _use_ a video camera! How could I possibly make special effects?"

Yami, Bakura and Marik cursed loudly, which didn't help their situation at all.

The teacher gasped, "Your right," She stared at the three spirits with wide eyes. Said three spirits sunk lower into their seats, their hikari's doing the same.

"Think dammit! What are we gonna do?" Bakura whispered harshly.

"I know!"

"You see! It's glowing again!" The Random Student yelled out

Bakura and Marik blinked in confusion, then they, along with the rest of the class looked over at Yami, who was seething, the puzzle glowing as well as the Eye of Horus on his forehead. They smirked, the Pharaoh was going to send them all to the Shadow Realm! He would definitely earn brownie points for that! The three hikari's suddenly jumped up and Yuugi hit Yami over the head, "Yami! Don't you _dare_!" he hissed, actually sounding kind of scary. Probably Malik's fault.

"But aibou! We have to do _something_!" Yami argued.

"If you hadn't of done that they wouldn't have any proof! Now they have a class full of witnesses!" Yuugi yelled, louder then he intended to.

The teacher cautiously walked over to the six, and poked at the three yami's, "If your spirit's, how do you have a corporeal form?" She asked.

"None of your damn business lady!" Bakura hissed, "Now, don't you have a class to teach?"

The teacher blinked, "But this is such an amazing discovery!" She turned to the hikari's, "Why haven't you told anyone? Do you know how much archeologists and scientists would pay you for this discovery, you'd be rich and famous! And think of all we could learn with they're knowledge! Especially since they claim to be from Ancient Egypt!"

To everyone's complete surprise, it was Ryou who replied, or more like snapped. He narrowed his eyes at the teacher, his hair spiking slightly, "Our yami's aren't some kind of lab rats! They're human beings, dammit! And they're the other halves of our souls, the dark halves! We wouldn't just trade them in for money and fame! I mean, sure they're a pain sometimes, Bakura and Marik may be the cause of Domino's population decreasing more everyday and they once had the entire city in a state of panic, and Yami thinks that because he was a pharaoh 3000 years ago that we should all bow down to him, and he sometimes even helps in the population decreasing what with all the Mind Crushing he does, and Bakura and Marik may be on a first name basis with all the cops and-"

"Ryou!" Yuugi, Malik, Marik, Bakura and Yami yelled out.

Ryou blinked, "Oh, right, sorry... got carried away their. Anyways, the point is that they're still our yami's and we're not about to let some scientists get a hold of them!"

Everyone stared. And for a good reason, the usually soft-spoken and gentle boy just blew up on the teacher! Bakura smirked proudly. Sure his hikari could be girly sometimes - okay, most of the time - but if you got him mad enough, he could be quite intimidating. Bakura knew this first hand.

The teacher took a step back, surprised by her best student's outburst. She went to the front of the class, and took the video tape, placing it in her desk drawer and locking it, "Okay, class. Our next unit was Ancient Egypt anyways, so is their anything you three would like to tell us about it? Like your lifestyle, your jobs, childhood maybe?"

Bakura snorted, "What childhood?" He asked, glaring at Yami.

All three yami's stayed silent. The teacher sighed, "It would be really helpful."

Still silence on the yami's part. The class looked disappointed, so the hikari's decided to step in, "Come on Yami, just tell them some thing, you got your memories back so it shouldn't be that hard!" Yuugi pleaded. The other two hikari's joined Yuugi in the puppy eyes to convince their yami's. Said yami's sighed, and reluctantly agreed.

"Well..." yami began as the hikari's pulled their chairs over so they could sit next to their yami's... in case of an emergency, " I was Pharaoh." He said simply.

"Which Pharaoh where you? Yami doesn't sound very Egyptian..." the teacher commented.

"I was Pharaoh Atemu."

"Odd... I've never heard of that name."

"No wonder, my name was erased from history after the Shadow Games." He mumbled.

"So, what was life like in the palace?" The teacher asked, sitting down at her desk.

"Boring for the most part. I would usually skip my lessons, which I got in trouble for a lot.. along with my best friend and high Priest Mahado. Nothing interesting ever happened in the palace..."

"At what age did you take the throne?"

"Pff, hell if I remember... it was a young age though, because my father a murdered... Bakura might know..." Yami said, glancing over at the thief. All eyes turned to him.

"I think you were only 15...or maybe 14. I don't know, 3000 years takes it's toll on your memory..." Bakura mumbled.

"What was your life like, Bakura?" The teacher asked.

Bakura smirked, "I was the King of Thieves. The idiot pharaoh's father ordered my entire village slaughtered when I was only 6, I hide like a coward so I was spared, and they used the 99 sacrifices to make these." Bakura held up the Millennium Ring and motioned to the other two items, "So these we're created using the flesh and blood of my people. I grew up on the streets and became a thief, and made it my goal to kill the pharaoh, someone got to him before me though..." Bakura pouted.

Yami glared at him, "Yeah well, it's not like that stopped you! You desecrated my father's tomb and dragged his body into my thrown room!" The students gasped.

Bakura returned the glare, "Well he killed MY entire family."

While the other two where arguing, the teacher turned her attention to Marik, "What about you, Ishtar?"

"I was forced to live in the Pharaoh's tomb my entire life. I was a Tomb Keeper and I was suppose to protect the Tomb and guard two of the Millennium Items. After the Tomb Keepers initiation, in which my father so kindly took a heated knife to my back and carved the pharaoh's memories there, Bakura just so happened to rob that particular tomb. I ran away with him and even helped him try to kill the pharaoh. Oh, and as you probably already know, we were lovers." Marik glanced at his hikari, "My hikari had to go through the same thing, only I took control after a while and killed his father." More people gasped.

Malik glared at him, "Yami, was that really necessary to say? Do you wanna go to jail?"

Marik snorted, "Like they could keep me behind bars."

"So...how did you end up... in this time?" Another Random Student asked.

"Well, a Shadow Game started between me and Bakura," Yami told them, "He managed to kill most of my priests and collect all the Millennium Items, so in the end I had to seal our souls into the Items, Marik just so happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and got sealed along with us."

Marik smirked, "Or was I in the right place at the right time?" He asked, looking Bakura up and down and licking his lips. Bakura smirked back.

The bell rang and the yami's and hikari's where out of there faster then bats out of hell. Yami looked at the other's worriedly, "Do you think we should have told them all that?"

* * *

**Next Day:**

The yami's and hikari's slowly made their way to school, dreading what they would find. After a short discussion, they came to a conclusion. They were fucking idiots. They should never have told all of them that! What the fuck were they thinking?

As they approached the school grounds, they saw nothing out of the ordinary. Besides the fact that every student was staring at them and whispering. Oh yes, they made one hell of a huge mistake.

They soon found out how much of a mistake when they entered the classroom. There were no students, just the teacher, the principle, and a bunch of people in military uniforms.

"Marik?" Bakura asked, staring at the armed men in the room.

"...Yeah?" Marik replied.

"... I just want you to know that it's been nice knowing you... and nice having sex with you." Bakura told him.

"Yeah, same here..." Marik nodded.

"And Pharaoh?"

"Yes, Bakura?" Yami asked, staring wide-eyed just like the other two yami's.

"You're not all that bad..." Bakura admitted.

"Neither are you and Marik, I guess I was just jealous of you guys..." Yami sighed sadly.

"Of all the wild hot sex?" Bakura asked.

"No! I was jealous because you guys have such exciting lives! And I'm stuck being the stick up the ass one that everyone looks up to!" Yami complained.

"Oh... you know I always did think you were sexy, pharaoh..." Bakura also admitted.

"Really?" Yami tore his gaze from the army people and blinked up at Bakura.

"Yeah."

"Well I always thought you and Marik were sexy to, especially when you were both covered in blood... I saw you two that one time in the dungeons..." Yami confessed.

"And you didn't join us?" Marik asked in astonishment.

"Well... I didn't want to interrupt..." Yami mumbled.

"Well, just don't forget us when your in paradise of an afterlife, cause me and Bakura are going to be devoured by Ammut ... oh, and Bakura... I have something to tell you..." Marik said, taking a small step back as the people inched forward.

"What is it?" Bakura asked.

"I love you!" Marik yelled out.

Bakura gasped, "Are you serious?"

Marik blinked, "At least I think so, I might be confusing it with lust..." The Egyptian mumbled.

"Bakura... Marik... I have a confession to make..." Yami said.

Both yami's looked at him, "Yeah?"

Yami took a deep breathe, "I think I love you guys!"

"But you might be confusing it with lust?" Marik asked.

Yami nodded, "Yeah, hence the 'I think' part." Yami then sighed, "But you guys both hate me, remember?"

"I've got my faults, but living in the past isn't one of them. There's no future in it.." Bakura said suddenly, and Yami looked up at him, hope in his eyes.

"Really? So that means you don't want to kill me anymore?"

Bakura blinked, "What?"

"Did you really mean that?" Yami asked.

"Mean what? Oh, that... I was just reading that poster on the wall on the other side of the room..." Bakura said, pointing to the poster.

Yami sighed and his shoulder dropped, "Oh..."

"Dammit! This is all our hikari's faults!" Bakura growled.

"We have only one person to blame, and that's each other!" Yami told him, then blinked when he realized that it didn't make since, "Anyways, this dramatic goodbye scene can only last so long, and I don't think they're going to stand there all day and wait for us to finish it."

One of the cops glanced over at them from where he was eating a donut.

"Yami's, I want you to think of one word and one word only: Haul Ass!" Yami yelled and grabbed Marik and Bakura's arms, dragging them out of the room and down the hall, ignoring Bakura when he pointed out that 'Haul Ass' was two words, not one.

The police and military people were, by now, sitting down drinking coffee and eating donuts. One military guy laughed, "Now I see why all you police have donuts in your office! These things are great!"

"Hey guys..." One of the police said, standing up, "They finished their dramatic goodbye scene, they just made a run for it. LET'S DO THIS!"

The military general suddenly appeared in front of the door, " I want you guys to pair up in groups of three, and then line up in a circle!" He ordered. They all stared at him, "What the fuck are you waiting for? Go after them! Move, Move, MOVE!" They all jumped and stormed out the door.

* * *

**Misao:** And so the hunt begins! Bum, Bum, Buuuuuuuum -cough- Anyways... now I have to go work on "_Ana _Bahebek"... then Doom and Demise...o.O And I have started a Second Chapter to "Ojike"... because I really didn't like how I ended it ... It was very pointless, but then again that was the point at the time cause I was bored, so now I'm going to _give_ it a point!

**Next Chapter: **The government takes the hikari's hostage!


	3. The Vent

**Misao:** Ok, here's the next chapter! Enjoy.

**  
Pairings:** Yami x Bakura x Marik (Yamishipping), and Malik x Yuugi x Ryou (Hikarishipping)

**Disclaimer: **Well since it's says "Disclaimer" I obviously don't claim to own it. I also don't own some of the quotes used!

**Conspiracy Theory **

**Chapter 3**

The three yami's ran through the school as if their very lives depended on it. Which it did, but that's besides the point. Yami skidded to a stop, causing Bakura and Marik to crash into him, sending them sprawled out on the ground in a very compromising position.

And because the god's love them so much, the hikari's suddenly showed up at that exact moment, "Geez, guys, not in the hallway!" Malik grumbled, kicking Marik in the side. Said yami glared at his hikari, and attempted to bite his leg, which earned him a kick in the head.

All three yami's jumped up off the ground as they heard voices coming down the hall, and they grabbed their respective hikari and pulled them into... the Girl's Bathroom. Why? Because all the police and military men were guys, luckily for them. And at least _one_ of the God's where on their side, because no one was in the bathroom at the time.

"Wow... so _this_ is what the girl's bathroom looks like!" Yuugi exclaimed, looking around, and poking his head in one of the stalls.

"So...much..._pink!_" Malik, Marik and Bakura screeched.

"You guys are acting like the color pink is the plague or something..." Yuugi mumbled.

Bakura gasped, "And we yami's are taught to avoid clichés like the plague!"

"Yami... why did you drag us in the Girl's Bathroom?" Ryou asked.

"They got the freaking military in their after us!" Bakura yelled, which wasn't a good idea, considering they were suppose to be hiding.

"What?" All three hikari's blinked.

"We went to Homeroom, and the teacher, principle, along with some police and military guys were in there." Yami explained.

"Oh no!" The hikari's gasped, "You guys have to get out of here!" Ryou said, panicking.

"What about you guys?" Yami asked.

"There after you, not us!" Yuugi told him.

Ryou handed Bakura his copy of the Millennium Ring, "Here, take this, if they get a hold of it they'd be able to track you down..." Bakura took it and put it over his head, and it fused with his copy, "Hey, neat!" Ryou said... then blinked, "Umm... how are we gonna separate it later on?" He asked.

Bakura shrugged, "Beat's me." He said as Malik and Yuugi handed their yami's their Millennium Items, "Umm... shouldn't one of you keep your item so that we can track you down later?" Bakura asked.

"No, because if they get a hold of it, it would lead you into a trap! Now get out of here! We'll try and distract them!" Malik said, pushing them towards the door.

Marik stopped and turned around, "Hikari... your so brave!" He hugged Malik, "Now remember what I taught you, if someone tries to kill you, you try to kill them right back! And also, shoot them before they shoot you... what else was there... Oh yes, remember, don't fear death!" Marik told his hikari, ruffling his hair.

"I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me." Malik said, shrugging, "But hey, it's not like I'm really doing much with my life!"

"That's my hikari!" Marik said, patting him on the back.

"Where are you guys gonna go? They know were we live! You can't go home!" Yuugi gasped.

"... Well, I think we should sneak to our house, just to grab the important stuff, then we'll make a run for it... Egypt maybe?" Bakura suggested, and Marik was quick to agree.

All of the sudden, the hikari's burst into tears. The yami's blinked as their hikari's attached themselves to their wastes, "We're going to miss yoooou!" They all cried.

After a good 10 minutes of saying their goodbye, they were finally ready to leave, "Now remember to call us, use a payphone, you can take the money my dad sent me, it's under my bed!" Ryou said, hugging his yami one last time.

Bakura narrowed his eyes, "Telephones are an abomination. They cram digital data packets through analog voice circuit switches- - the worst of both worlds. . . even telephone modems, dumb as they are, know what they are doing is wrong. Just listen to their hissing and screeching every time we force them to do it!"

Everyone, even Marik, stared at Bakura. He just reached a new level of insanity. Marik though, after a moments thought, agreed. Yami continued to stare at him in all of his stupidity. And the hikari's just felt sympathy for him, since anyone who was that dumb deserved at least a little.

Ryou turned to Yami, "Oh, and Yami... make sure, wherever you go, that Bakura doesn't sneak away at night... I don't want a repeat of that time he snuck off to a strip bar..."

Bakura scowled, "First, it was not a strip bar, it was an erotic club and second, what can I say? I'm a night owl." He smirked.

"And also, make sure Bakura and Marik don't do anything _to_ illegal. I'm pretty sure running from the military is breaking a few laws, but that can't be helped..." Ryou mumbled.

"The laws in this city are clearly racist. All laws are racist. The law of gravity is racist!" Bakura yelled out, causing them all to, once again, stare at him. Except for Marik, for he agreed.

"Ok, ok. Get out of here before those morons find us!" Malik yelled, kicking his yami in the butt. Marik rubbed his sore behind and scowled at his hikari.

Bakura walked over to Marik and smacked his ass, "Don't injure his ass to much Malik, I'll need it later." He smirked, and all the hikari's, minus Malik, blushed.

Marik growled at Bakura, "I think your confused, because it's your ass that needs to stay in tacked, your seriously on something if you think _your_ Seme!"

Before they could start arguing over who was on top, like they knew they would, the hikari's pushed them out of the girls bathroom.

Ryou sighed, "...I'm going to miss my yami... even if he was a pain in the ass..."

"I know what you mean..." Malik said sadly, "But don't worry! They'll be fine! And we'll figure out a way to fix this...mess... somehow."

As they stood in the bathroom, trying to figure out a way to fix the mess they had somehow gotten themselves into, no thanks to the nosey little shit who video taped them, who Malik was going to track down and brutally beat, the Bathroom door opened. A girl walked in, looked at them, and screamed. Loudly.

The scream got the attention of some military men, who swarmed around the door. The hikari's all looked at each other nervously. Oh Shit.

**With The Yami's: **

**"**Shit! They have the freaking doors blocked!" Marik cursed. Yami was about to have a nervous breakdown, and Bakura was leaning against the wall looking bored.

"Bakura! Why aren't you freaking our too?" Yami whispered harshly.

Bakura shrugged, "I'm the King of Thieves, I can get us out of here with no problem."

"Then why haven't you?"

Bakura smirked, "You never asked." Yami was about to lunge at him and strangle him, when they heard someone yell, "THERE THEY ARE!"

"Shit!" Yami cursed, looking around franticly for a way out.

"That way!" Bakura said, pointing to a hallway.

"There's nothing down there!" Yami hissed.

"If there is nothing down there, then why is there a hallway?" Bakura asked challengingly.

Marik decided to take matters into his own hands, and grab the two, pulling them down the hallways Bakura had pointed to. Bakura stuck his tongue out at Yami. Glancing behind them, they saw the police/military men right on their heels.

They came to a dead end.

"I told you!" Yami screeched, pointing an angry finger at Bakura, who snapped at it, attempting to bite it off.

Before they could continue their fight, they were jerked to the right, and into an empty classroom. They locked the door, then put their backs to it, "Great, just great, I've become a fugitive with my two life-long enemies. Can I possible get any lower?" Yami mumbled.

"Actually-" Marik started.

"_Don't_. Say. A. Damn. Word!" Yami cut him off.

They felt people banging on the door, attempting to knock it down, "Shit, Yami, your scrawnier and weaker then us, you go see if there's anyone outside that window over there!" Bakura ordered. Yami was about to retort to the thief's insult, but settled for a glare and walked over to the window, "Anyone there?"

"If you don't count what looks like the entire Japanese Army, no." Yami sighed, "We're dead."

"Now pharaoh, that attitude is going to get you killed." Bakura growled, "How do you think I felt being chased by your soldiers every day of my life? It certainly wasn't that attitude that kept me alive." Bakura scanned the room, then let out an "Ah HA!"

"What?" Marik asked, pushing and pilling desks in front of the door. Bakura pointed to a vent on the wall.

"You have got to be kidding..." Yami said, staring wide-eyed at Bakura.

"This isn't exactly a time for joking Pharaoh." Bakura said, then glanced over at Marik, "Give me a lift." Marik walked over to Bakura, who was right under the vent, and let Bakura climb up onto his shoulders. As Bakura was climbing into the vent, he took the opportunity to squeeze Bakura's ass, in return getting cursed at.

Luckily the vent was pretty big. Bakura helped Marik in, who helped Yami in. Just as Yami put the vent cover back on, the door burst open, and in came the army.

**Misao:** And there is chapter three! We should all have a new appreciation for vents! o.O


	4. The Disguises

**  
Pairings:** Yami x Bakura x Marik (Yamishipping), and Malik x Yuugi x Ryou (Hikarishipping)

**Disclaimer: **Well since it's says "Disclaimer" I obviously don't claim to own it. I also don't own some of the quotes used!

**Warnings: **We're talking violence, strong language, adult content...and Random Insanity

**Conspiracy Theory **

**Chapter 4**

Yami followed Bakura and Marik through the vent, trying to ignore the fact that he just _knew_ there were spiders crawling everywhere, and it was pitch black so he couldn't see shit. Not only that, he could _feel_ the nastiness that inhabited said vent, now in his hair, on his skin, and on his clothes. All of the sudden, they stopped and Yami's face landed right in Marik's ass.

"Get your face out of my ass Pharaoh, Ra, even I have more control then _that_." Marik muttered.

"Why'd we stop?" Yami asked.

"The tunnels go two ways, Bakura's trying to figure out which way to go." Marik explained.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Yami asked doubtfully.

"For 3000 years I've worked alongside Bakura. We've had triumphs. Made some mistakes. We've had some sex. . . uh. . . setbacks... but he's always gotten us out alive in the end." Marik said, like that was suppose to be reassuring.

"Oh, well that just makes me feel _so_ much better about this entire situation!" Yami replied sarcastically before letting out a high pitch squeak when he felt something crawl over his hand, and he ended up falling forward, only to land flat on his face.

He started to panic when he realized Marik was no longer there, and he quickly crawled through the vent for all he was worth. He came to the spot Bakura had stopped at, and he could see that the vent did, in fact, go two ways. He could see this because there was a small amount of light shining through a crack in the vent.

"M-Marik? Bakura?" He called out in a whisper. Receiving no answer, he tried again. Now he was on the edge of hysteria, "MARIK? BAKURA?" He called out as loud as he could.

"_Pharaoh_," Came Marik's voice from the left side, "Shut up you moron, are you trying to get us caught?" Yami quickly went left, once again surrounded by darkness, he kept moving until he bumped into something, "Oh that's it Pharaoh, if your face touches my ass _one_ more time..." He left the rest to Yami's imagination.

"It's not my fault I can't see a damn thing!" Yami hissed, backing up so he was a good ways away from Marik's ass.

"Some creature of Darkness you are..." He heard Bakura mumble from farther up. Suddenly, they heard a really loud creak, but none of them where moving.

"What was that?" Yami asked, and they heard it again.

"...I don't know...Maybe it was-" Marik never got to finish his sentence, because whatever was supporting them gave out, and they found themselves falling. Right on top of 4 military guys.

They all jumped up and scanned the hallways, luckily those four were the only ones there, and were knocked unconscious when the three yami's fell on them. Hearing a chuckle, Yami and Marik turned to Bakura, raising questioning eyebrows.

"I've got it!" He yelled triumphantly, "Come on, let's strip them." he said, and pulled one of the guys into an empty classroom.

Yami's eyes widened, "Bakura! This isn't the time to worry about your sexual needs, and I don't approve of rape! Even I thought you wouldn't do something so low!" He gasped.

Bakura rolled his eyes, "Please, like I'd fuck any of these people. Look at them, there stomachs practically touch the ground! And there fucking UGLY as shit! Bet they aren't even that big,..." Bakura said, ripping the guys uniform off him, "What we're doing is using their uniforms as a disguise so we can get out of here!"

Yami wrinkled his nose in disgust at Bakura's comment, but had to admit he had a good idea. So, he grabbed one of the unconscious guys and dragged him into the classroom as well. Marik went to grab the other two guys, but one was starting to wake up, so he quickly dragged them into the room and did what any yami would do, he picked up a chair and bashed the guy in the head with it, causing Yami to gasp in horror.

Since that uniform now had blood on it, he went for the next guys outfit, and soon the yami's were dressed in military uniforms, though they had some trouble putting the hats on...what with their hair sticking up like it did.

"Ra dammit! Why do we yami's have to have such pointy hair?" Marik growled, trying to stuff his hair up into the very small military hat.

"Because it makes us look evil!" Bakura replied, not having _as_ much trouble as the other two, since his hair didn't stick up like he got struck by lightening and/or stuck his finger in an electric socket as a child, even though electricity didn't exist in their time, so we'll just say it was lightening.

Yami managed to hide all of his hair excepts for his yellow bangs. Which wasn't too bad, considering lots of people have blond hair... maybe not as bright or as pointy as his, but it would have to do.

It took all three of them to get Marik's hair to cooperate, seeing as how his stuck up the most, "I hate your hair, Marik." Yami mumbled, "Can't we just chop it off?" He asked, grabbing a pair of scissors off the teachers desk.

Marik backed away from him, using Bakura as a shield, "No! Not my precious hair!" He squeaked, yes, squeaked.

Yami rolled his eyes, taking a step closer, "Come on Marik, your a yami, it'll grow back faster then a humans." Yami told him, even though he didn't know for sure that was the case, since none of them have ever tried cutting their hair before, for all they knew, it wouldn't' grow back at all! But he wasn't about to tell him _that_.

Marik narrowed his eyes at Yami over Bakura's shoulder, "Touch my hair with those things, and you'll find them shoved SO far up your ass you can forget getting fucked for the rest of eternity."

Yami sighed and tossed the scissors away, going back over to the desk and going through the drawers. After a few minutes, Bakura got impatient and walked over to the desk, pulling the drawer out of the desk completely and dumping their contents on the floor.

Marik, being the lazy ass he was, sat on top of one of the desks and watched as Bakura and Yami tried to find a solution to _his _problem. As they say, all's fair in love and war and even though that has nothing to do with anything at the moment, it probably would in the near future, but he might not feel like referring to that quote later.

"Ah Ha!" Bakura suddenly yelled out, pulling an object out of the pile and holding it up, running over to Marik, "Here Marik, your to damn tall, bend over so I can staple your hair to your head!" He said, holding up a stapler.

Marik's eyes widened, "What? Your fucking joking right?" He asked, eyeing the stapler warily.

"Well, no-" Bakura started, only to be cut off by Marik.

"No, No, your _joking. **Right**?"_ He asked again, more sternly this time.

"...No." Bakura said, "Now hurry up, we don't have all day, now bend down dammit! It won't hurt _that_ bad!" Hair said, grabbing Marik by the hair and pulling him down. He was just about to staple down a part of his hair when Marik screamed and pulled away, running over and hiding behind the Pharaoh, who was watching contently, wondering if Bakura would really staple his hair down and if Marik would actually let him.

Bakura walked towards them, "Oh come on Marik, stop being such a wimp." With each step he took, Marik took a step back, pulling the pharaoh with him.

"Pharaoh, do something!" He hissed in his ear, feeling his back press against a wall.

Yami sighed, "Put the stapler down Bakura, we'll find something else." Since Bakura didn't look like he was letting the stapler down any time soon, Yami snatched it out of his hand and tossed it out the window.

"Hey guys! This stapler just fell from the sky! It's a sign from God!" They heard one of the police and/or military guys yell out.

"Hey neat! You know, that new guy, the one with the afro, he's been having trouble fitting his hat on because his hairs so big, you think we could staple it down?" Another one asked.

"I dunno... Lets go try it!"

"Yeah!"

Yami, Bakura and Marik all raised an eyebrow, before shrugging and going back to their earlier task of looking for something to tame Marik's hair, and sitting their and watching the other two try and solve his problem.

"Hey, this might work!" Yami said, pulling out a bag of rubber bands. Marik narrowed his eyes at the bands of rubber. They were evil. He remember the horrors Malik went through when Ryou made him put his hair in a pony tail so he wouldn't get hair in the food... the rubber bad got caught in his hair, and they had to cut some of his hair to get it out. Malik cried for a week.

BUT, seeing as how it was that or the stapler, Marik let Yami tie his hair in the evil band of rubbery evilness. The first 5 broke, but after Yami decided to use 4 of them at once, it worked. Yami stood back and all was silent for a minute.

Then Yami and Bakura burst out laughing. Even though his hair was in a pony tail, it still stuck straight up! Marik growled at them, but they just laughed harder. 10 minutes later the laughter finally started to die down.

"Ow...Ow...Oh Ra, it hurts!" Yami moaned, now on the ground on top of Bakura, who was also struggling to breath.

"Can't...BREATHE!" Bakura gasped. Marik coughed loudly to get their attention, "Okay...Okay, Okay...I'm done...I'm done..." Bakura took a deep breathe. They both looked up at Marik, and stared at him. He raised a questioning eyebrow and they both burst out laughing again.

Marik was about to attack them, but found a better way to shut them up. He smirked, "Wow, Bakura! Who would have thought you'd be submitting to the pharaoh?"

They both stopped laughing and glared at him, "What do you mean?" Bakura asked.

Marik pointed at them, "Look at your position! Your both on the floor, panting like animals in heat, and the Pharaoh's on top of you!" They both blinked, then glanced down at their position, before bolting off the floor and trying to regain some of their dignity.

"That's more like it." Marik mumbled.

"Here Marik, lets use these." Yami said, holding up some paper clips, "We can pin your hair down, since it's sticks up like...like..."

"Like your dicks in the wrong place and you were turned on by the sight of me and Yami on the floor panting and all over each other like that!" Bakura finished for him, causing Yami to stare at him in horror, and Marik burst out laughing.

It took about 50 paperclips, but they finally managed to pin his hair down, and get the hat on his head. Yami sighed and sat down, "It would have been easier to just chop your damn hair off." He mumbled, but Bakura and Marik ignored him, already heading for the door. With one last sigh, and what could possibly be his last moment of freedom, he followed them out into the hall.

**Misao:** Well, there's chapter four! This is definitely my most updated story. -blinks- But... that could also be because the chapters aren't as long as the chapters for my other's stories. Oh well, what the hell. Hope you liked this chapter!


	5. The Break

**Misao:** Arigato reviewers! Though, I'm sorry to say you all will probably be disappointed with this... Hell, I can't even call this a chapter.

**Oh! By the way, for anyone who gives a damn, I have a Website/Forum dedicated to the yami's, and any and all yami pairings. (Yami x Bakura, Marik x Bakura, Yami x Marik, Yami x Bakura x Marik) The Link is in my profile if you want to join. **

**Pairings:** Yami x Bakura x Marik (Yamishipping), and Malik x Yuugi x Ryou (Hikarishipping)

**Disclaimer: **Well since it's says "Disclaimer" I obviously don't claim to own it. I also don't own some of the quotes used!

**Warnings: **We're talking violence, strong language, adult content...and Random Insanity

**Conspiracy Theory **

**Chapter 5**

"And then there were none!" Bakura exclaimed proudly as he kicked the body of a police into a bathroom. The now unconscious -or more likely dead - policemen had saw Yami's Millennium Puzzle, since he couldn't hide it like Marik and Bakura could, and he had been about to snitch on them. They couldn't have that happen, now could they?

"...Do you really think we should be shoving bodies into bathrooms? I mean, if I were to walk in on a dead body when I was about to take a piss, I don't think I'd make it to the stall..." Yami commented.

"That makes it all the more amusing." Marik snickered, pulling his hat down a bit since his hair, even pinned down, pushed it up.

Yami sighed exasperatingly, "_You would_ think that..." He muttered, "So how do you suppose we get out of here? Even with the costumes, we're bound to be recognized."

"Your not a very positive thinker are you, Pharaoh?" Bakura asked, then rolled his eyes when he got a glare in return, "I lived on the streets my entire life, not only that, I became a famous Tomb Robber, don't you think I know what I'm doing?"

Yami gave him a bored look, "No."

Bakura glared and grabbed Marik the arm, pulling him down the hallway he knew led to the Cafeteria, "Fine then, you can get out of here yourself."

Yami's eyes widened and he ran after them, "I was just being my bitchy self! I wasn't serious!" Bakura stopped abruptly, causing Marik to run into him, and Yami to run into Marik.

Marik growled, "Bakura! That is the second time you've done that dammit!"

"Shh!" Bakura hushed them, then slowly peeked around the corner, into the cafeteria. It was empty. And quiet..._too_ quiet. The thief narrowed his eyes in suspicion, but motioned for the other two to follow him anyways.

No sooner had they stepped into the cafeteria, they heard someone yell "Lunch Break", and a whole stampede of policemen and military men came swarming in. Luckily, there were so many of them, that the yami's blended in perfectly.

"I'm sure there's still a bunch on guard, so we should sneak out the back of the cafeteria." Bakura whispered, turning around only to find Yami standing there, "Where's Marik?"

Yami blinked, then looked around, spotting Marik in line conversing with one of the military guys, "Umm... he's over there." He told the white haired yami, pointing in the direction of the blonde.

Bakura turned around, and his eyes widened at the side of Marik, with his arm around the other dude, laughing his ass off, "What's that idiot DOING?" He screeched, storming off in the blonds direction, leaving Yami to follow after him.

"MA-!" He started yelling, but stopped himself when he realized that everyone in here most likely knew their names, "-Rik!"

One of the policemen looked up from his eating his school fries and narrowed his eyes at Bakura, "Did you just say Marik?"

Bakura shifted nervously, "Umm... no...I said...Rik...yes, that's it. Rik."

The policemen laughed and shoved some more fried into his mouth, "Oh! Ok, don't mind me, I've become a little paranoid after finding my friend unconscious in the bathroom... those... what are they called? Yami's? Yeah, those yami's are sneaky ones, they are."

Bakura forced himself to laugh, "Yup, they sure are, but you know, I thought I heard someone say they spotted them at the front gate." he said seriously, smirking on the inside at how stupid these people were.

"You serious?"

Bakura nodded, "Yeah, I came in here to... get backup! We better hurry before they get away!"

The policemen jumped up and nodded, "I'll alert the other!" With that, he ran towards the front door, yelling that they had been spotted, and a bunch of the other policemen, along with military guys, got up and went after him, the other just shrugged and went back to eating their lunch, muttering about being off-duty.

Bakura then stalked towards Marik, and grabbed him by his ear, dragging him through the crowd and towards the back door, Yami in tow, "What the HELL do you think you were doing Ma- I mean Rik?" He seethed.

"Ow-Ow! OW! Let go Ba-" Before he could finish his sentence, Yami put his hand over his mouth, silencing him.

"Shh! We can't let then know our names dumb ass!" Yami whispered harshly.

Once they reached the back door, Bakura stopped and released Marik, "Ok, here's the plan, we go out there, find a back exit, and run like bats out of hell!" Bakura explained.

"What a plan!" Yami yelled out in fake enthusiasm, "You know Bakura, you really should be in the military! because that plan is just- I can't even put it into words!" He said sarcastically.

"Up yours Pharaoh, I don't see you coming up with any master plan. Besides, I'm the Tomb Robber here! Not you! You sat on your ass all day!" Yami was about to reply, but Bakura but him off, "We'll finish this later, let's go."

They all sighed in relief when they made it outside, and no one was in sight.

**Misao:** Holy shit I'm so ashamed of this sorry excuse for a chapter!2 Pages. 2 freaking pages! What the hell is that shit? I swore I'd never put up a chapter that short! But... I promised I'd update... and this is all I have so far. I feel so bad... I promise the next chapter will be twice as long as all the others! I've been so freaking busy lately, and I really wanted to get this chapter out of the way so I could get working on LTTT. 'Sigh' But... the good news is that the next chapter of "_Ana_ Bahebek" will be up soon! And no, it's not 2 pages long...


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